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I need support on this essay to re read and fix it i have the original doc i don’t want to only fix grammar some of my ideas are all around the place also i need a good title.Here is the feedback i got on this essay:this is a good start to the paper. This is the process. You have a bunch of ideas in your head but you don’t really know how they fit together. Through the process of writing, you discover and clarify your thoughts. It doesn’t come out perfectly the first time, but that’s how you know what you are thinking. Then you have to go back and revise and order your sentences and paragraphs. You have to revise so that you’re writing is Clarity reader.
You’re at the first stage right now. This is material that’s pretty raw and rough, but it is a strong start. Let’s start with your title, which is “body image.” Your title needs a great deal more information than that. Your title can be quite long to capture both the precise, specific topic that is the focus of your paper, as well as your thesis angle. From what I can read here, your precise, specific topic is about anorexia and Instagram. Am I correct?
You’re opening paragraphs are generalized and vague and disordered. I think where you begin to get your readers attention is wit

h this sentence:
In the 1800’s Peter Paul Rubens was famous for his depictions of full- figured, sensual women.
You could begin this paper with an historical summary to illustrate how the perception of the female body form, and what is desirable, is something that has been in constant evolution. It is only apparently in the latter part of the twentieth century where the image of women as skinny for an ideal seems to become apparent (is that factually true? what does your research indicate?). You mention some Notorious cases such as Karen Carpenter, who died from anorexia.
But I think you make this paper relevant and current when you get to discuss the influences of Instagram and thinspo videos and images that you are entering your true exploration area. You do not cite any sources in this paper, nor have any listed on your work cited, but I would expect to have a lot of Instagram posts as your sources. You’re going to be looking at these and analyzing them. I believe that your paper intends to demonstrate the link, the causal link, between the social media that young teenage girls View and their destructive sense of body self-image. file:///home/chronos/u-46813ac06cb7bf5004d27de71c33eab43ca542b6/MyFiles/Downloads/Body%20Image%20(1).pdf